Unconditional
by zephyrchild
Summary: Kara muses on her daughter Kacey, what family really is and figures out just what unconditional love can do.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: None of this is mine, story is just an idea I had.

Kara Thrace sat quietly in the medical bay, listening to something that she didn't want to hear. The waiting was hell; she just wanted to get back to work.

"She's not a cylon Kara, not even half, she has a blood type." Dr. Cottle muttered around his homemade cigarette.

"And?"

"She can't be yours Lt. Thrace, her blood type is AB positive, there is no way that this child is yours, your blood type is O negative."

"Are you sure, she looks like…"

"There is absolutely no way this child is either half-cylon or yours."

"So what do I do now?"

Dr. Cottle shrugged at her and pointed at the door. Kara couldn't believe it, but she felt like crying. She couldn't believe how attached she was to Kaceybut she's not mine, she's not mine, Kara thought to herself, not mine. Kara waited for it to hit, she'd no longer feel so torn, no longer would she be torn between military and family, trying to 'do it all' as they say.

It never came. She still felt it. So she grabbed the closest scissors and chopped off her hair quickly, examining the damage after in the closest mirror. She let herself say it out loud in the head where no one could here her, "Kacey is not my daughter." Still nothing.

Kara walked to Admiral Adama's quarters, she found President Roslin as expected, and she saluted and began to make a quick statement.

"Kacey is human." She tried to say the rest of what Dr. Cottle had told her, that Kacey wasn't her daughter, she couldn't.

"That's good news." President Roslin smiled, "I'm already working on finding her a family in the fleet."

Adama met her eyes, saw what Kara couldn't say, he nodded at her. Taking the permission to leave, she wandered towards the room where temporarily, the military's children were being kept. Kacey was the oldest of the bunch, by far. She ran towards Kara wrapping her arms around her legs. Kara had to repeat it to herself again, she isn't mine, and she can't be mine.

"Mommy!" Kacey squealed at her, Kara swung Kacey up, and proceeded to walk with Kacey back to the Admiral's quarters. How could she tell Kacey she wasn't hers, as Kacey was clinging to her humming that same nursery rhyme she had when Kara had first seen her.

"Kacey, I…"

The child looked at her intently with those pretty eyes, hugging her closer.

What was family? Kara had never had a loving family, the closest thing to family she had was the Adamas and she hadn't met them until adulthood. Kacey had no family, except for her, and she wasn't even really her mother. For a moment Kara was horrified at what she was thinking of. She felt the same; it hadn't changed. But knew that what she felt for Kacey at that moment had to be love, real love. It somehow didn't matter whether Kacey was hers, because in the way that matters, she was.

"I love you." Kara finished, kissing the child on top of the head.

"Love you." Kacey echoed in a singsong voice.

Kara walked firmly into the Admiral's office again.

"Admiral Adama, I'd like you to meet my daughter Kacey." Kara said proudly

"Lt. Thrace. I thought you meant that…" Kara abruptly cut off Roslin; Adama seemed too confused to speak.

"I'd like to be restored to active duty sir, and officially adopt Kacey."

"What?"

"Officially adopt Kacey, I love her and I can't just stop." At this point Kacey wriggled to be set free, and Kara took this opportunity to place another kiss on her head.

"Mommy, I want down." Kacey whined in her quiet little voice.

Laura Roslin smiled, "We'll have a contract done up for you Lt. Thrace."

Bill Adama looked slightly concerned, but his mood was lightened by the words Kara uttered next.

"Say hi to your Grandpa Bill Kacey."

"Hi.' Kacey said, promptly crawling into his lap.

"Hi Kacey." Bill said, "I guess that makes me 'Grandpa Bill.'"

"I'm glad you've agreed to baby-sit, Grandpa." Kara replied, and sat down, she had a contract to sign, and a lot of explaining to do.


	2. Chapter 2

It was signed; Kara had just become a parent. She looked across at Adama and Roslin, smiling down at the contract on the coffee table, written in President Roslin's distinctive hand.

"Captain Thrace?"

"Yes Madam President?"  
"I don't mean to be rude, but when was the last time that Kacey here was bathed?"

"I never bathed her." Kara glanced at

"So you mean, in over a week, she hasn't had a bath?"

"There aren't exactly bath tubs on the Galactica, Laura," Bill stepped in. "A shower is the best option here."

"How?"

Laura Roslin rolled her eyes, "You shower with her Captain Thrace, you get undressed and wash her and yourself at the same time, surely that isn't too difficult, I saw families with infants showering together on New Caprica."

"Showahhh!" Kacey said happily.

"In the pilot's head?"

"Where would you suggest Kara?"

Kara looked at Bill, who shrugged at her.

Laura smiled, " I suggest you both wash up before you inform your husband, a clean kid is easier to hug."

And with one strangled glance, Kara scooped up Kacey, she didn't know what to tell Sam, with the Circle and beating up the 'true hero' of New Caprica their marriage was already strained…what would Kacey accomplish?

"I guess its shower time honey."

"Showah!!" Kacey echoed exuberantly.

Kara stepped into her bunkroom, scrounging for her towels, undressed Kacey silently in the crowded room, wrapped a towel around Kacey, she walked into the shower room.

Hotdog and Kat looked up from their showers, they had seen Kara with the kid before but actually watching her mother her was something different. They stood with their mouths open, seemingly oblivious to the fact that another two crewmen were washing their infant son not to far away.

Kara bathed Kacey, with self-consciousness, she felt emotionally exposed in front of many pilots. Water had splashed on the front of her shirt.

She felt eyes on her back, as she was washing Kacey's hair gently. She knew who it was before turning around.

"Lee."

"Kara."

"So that's her."

"My adopted daughter."

Kacey seemed to sense Kara's embarrassment and attempted to hide behind her mother.

."You look good, so the kid's not…'

"She's not a cylon, she's my daughter."

"Mommy who?"

"Lee Adama." Kara said in a deliberately soften tone to her daughter.

"Kara, why did you…"

"Lee, get over it."

She felt rather him staring at her with eyes filled with longing and disgust as he left. She finished washing quickly and left the head to a few jeers of 'Momma-buck'

Kara dried off her sleepy toddler as she walked, wondering if one of her old tanks would make good pyjamas when all her dreams ended abrubtly with one sentence.

"So she's yours."

"Sam, I know that…"

"No, Kara, first all this 'I want blood' and 'I'm in a different place crap" now this."

"Sam just stop, let me put her to bed."

Kara watched Sam sulk outside the rack as she put Kacey into an old tank, and into her rack. Before leaving the room just enough to be out of the view of the sleeping tot.

"She's not a cylon, she's human, Cottle said."

"So she has someone…"

"No, she doesn't, just me, her mother."

"Kara you are not her…" Sam cut himself off quickly when Kara turned away from him, "Kara, you never wanted kids, neither did I, what the hell happened?"

"I don't know, I told you, I'm just trying to figure it out, all I know is that I love her, and she's staying, I don't think you should Sam."

"What do you mean?"

"I told you to leave before, I mean it, get on another ship, get away from me and Kacey, she doesn't need a dad who doesn't care."

"I am not her father."

Kara rummaged for a Sam's bag, "Exactly!" Kara threw the bag at him, and crawled into her rack to slide in with Kacey, pulling her curtain closed, muffling her tears on her pillow and on Kacey's golden curls. It still hurt, and she knew it would for a long time, but after what happened with Leoban, she couldn't even stand a lover's glance, never mind anything else, Sam didn't deserve that. She hugged Kacey closer, allowing the sleepy child to cling to her, and finally Kara fell asleep.

When she awoke Sam was gone, funny, she thought he'd fight for her, beg or something, but he just left. Kara felt something was wrong. The curtain was open. She looked around for Kacey.

"Kacey?" she called hesitantly, then louder, "Kacey?" Kara jumped out of bed and began frantically looking for her.

The bunkroom was amazingly silent, and empty. Kara dressed in uniform quickly before running out into the halls. People were wandering around, probably coming back from breakfast.

"I'm looking for my daughter, she two, blond curls, blue eyes, wearing a military tank…has anyone seen her?'

Kara noticed the disinterest from everyone as she continued running down the hall, toward Admiral Adama's quarters, maybe he'd help her.

The she saw her. Kara looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. But looked back when she saw Lee standing beside her. She put her arm on Lee's as if to demonstrate ownership. She didn't have time for this. Kara kept running until she reached the Old Man's quarters. The door was open and she saw Admiral Adama talking softly to Kacey, who was giggling on his lap and kicking her feet with excitement for whatever story he was telling her. Kara breathed a sigh of relief and then let herself get angry.

"Why did you take her I was so worried and…"

"I didn't take her Kara, Lee gave her to me, I assumed you asked him to babysit."

"The frakking bastard."

"Kara, I'd like to pass on a piece of advice, small children repeat everything you say, no matter what." Bill Adama smiled at her and then at Kacey, who had just noticed the appearance of her mother in the door.

"Mommy!" She squealed and ran to Kara jumping with her arms held out for a hug. Kara quickly obliged.

"Kacey, what has your Grandpa been doing?"

"Story."

"About what?"

"Mommy-Story." Kacey answered.

Bill Adama smiled at Kara, so calmly, you'd have thought he was used to small children.

"And what did Lee do with you?" Kara asked the child.

"Hug."

"He took you away from your mother to hug you?"

"Hug!" Kacey repeated insistently.

"I've got to go get breakfast, I'll bring her back for you to watch in about twenty minutes." And with that Kara sped out the door, to mad to really think, as Kacey hummed some melody-less tune in her ear.

Kara managed to catch Lee in the hall, she grabbed his arm and made him face her. "Why did you take my daughter?"

"She was awake, you weren't so I picked her up and carried her to my dad." Lee seemed to enjoy this excuse to make Kara angry.

"If you think I'll let you get away with this."

"You'll what Captain?" He replied, "You have a child," stepping closer too close.

As if on cue, Kacey held out her arms to Lee, "Hug!" she said insistently. Bewildering both her mother and Lee.

"No Kacey, we don't hug or touch Lee Adama." Kara told her daughter. Lee snorted with laughter.

"Yes Kacey, you, and Mommy," Lee paused to laugh again, "Do indeed hug and touch Lee Adama."

Kacey wiggled to be set free, and as soon as she was she made a beeline for Lee Adama. Who promptly picked her up and gave her the hug she'd asked for.

"What the frak do you think you're doing Lee?"

"I'm hugging Kacey."

"How? What?…" Kara was at a loss for words, how the hell did her daughter manage to bond with Lee Adama.

"Kacey and I had breakfast together this morning, then we took a walk to Grandpa's." Lee answered in a singsong voice obviously meant to irritate her.

"I don't have time for this, take her to your dad, then."

And with that Kara stormed off, she was determined she would not hit Lee in front of Kacey, and tearing her away from him could get too violent. She was also determined not to yell in front of Kacey. It wasn't over…she'd just have to find a new way to keep her away from Lee.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a good day, Kara mused as she walked towards her bunk, no Lee, nothing, for over a week he's been around, bonding with Kacey and…using it for revenge. She hated Lee, or wanted to, but she didn't.

"Okay Kacey, bedtime." Kara said gently as she placed Kacey on the floor. Reaching for the pajamas she had recently acquired.

"No!" Kacey said loudly

"Yes it's bedtime, so you and Mommy are both going to sleep."

"No!" And with that Kacey proceeded to run around the room, "No, don't want sleep." Pilots began to poke their heads out of their bunks to watch.

"But we're both so sleepy." Kara said in a fake cheery voice, growing more impatient by the minute, how did parent's deal with these things? The only way Kara knew how to deal with it was…unacceptable.

"Nooo!" Kacey wailed, beginning to cry and threw herself on the floor, "Nooooo! Don't wanna, wanna play!"

Kara watched as her previously adorable child turned into small demon as she threw a temper tantrum. She didn't know what to do. Kara made grabbed Kacey and pulled her up to face her. "Yes it is bedtime, stop it!" She let her voice get too loud, drawing more attention.

Kacey continued to kick and wail, Kara just wanted to go to bed…she felt herself getting angrier.

Lee walked in the room before noticing the crying child and nearly running back out.

Kara seized the opportunity and shoved her screeching child at Lee before running out of the room. She couldn't let herself get that mad, she couldn't hurt her child and she wasn't about to let herself. She ran until she couldn't hear the wailing anymore. And she kept running until she got to the gym. She wrapped her hands and punched the bag, trying to vent everything, her feelings about her mother, Lee, Kacey's tantrum. She must have punched the bag for ages; her hands were sore by the time she sat on the floor letting the tears roll down her cheeks. She wasn't a good parent, and she really didn't know how to be. She frakked up again.

"Kara?" an all too familiar voice

"Go away." Her voice was too low.

"We got Kacey put to bed, group effort, you won't believe how." Lee took her silence for interest and continued calmly, "Racetrack is apparently an excellent babysitter, had quite a business at it in her teens."

"So what happened?" Lee questioned Kara when she remained silent.

"I don't want to talk." Kara stood up and looked Lee in the eyes.

"Got scared and ran away?" His voice was taunting, "Or maybe that's the way you are, you just leave; so you aren't a good mommy…you're not much of a friend either." His voice was cold.

Kara lunged at him, effectively pinning Lee to the ground, she let herself punch him, venting her anger, wasn't sure exactly what she was angry about, until Lee hit back. For a while they rolled and struggled, both fighting for dominance, finally Kara won out, ending up straddling him, both breathing heavy. The memory hit both of them at the same time. Then they both just stopped. For a moment they both looked at each other, there really was too much there. It had always been too much. She watched his eyes, than he just grabbed her and refused to let her move, holding her against his chest. She struggled against him until she cried again. Lee seemed surprised at first, but he held her tight and let her cry.

"Why Kara?"

"Why what?" her voice was still too deep, thick with tears and unwanted emotion.

"Just why?" Lee struggled for a moment then let himself say something quieter, "I can't hate you."

"I know the feeling." Kara answered, as she held onto Lee tighter, listening to the beat of his heart, they weren't fighting but it wasn't slowing down, neither was hers. And it wasn't anger that was driving them anymore. She slowly reached out a hand and touched Lee's face, gently. Letting her lips drop just low enough to touch his, gently at first, and then deeper, as Lee dropped his defenses and let her kiss him. She tasted blood, her own doing. When she finally backed up Lee's hands caught her and pulled her back into a kiss. His arms held her tightly against him, and Kara let herself get lost in the moment.

"What about Kacey?" Kara's head shot up, "I should…"

"Racetrack's watching her, she's asleep anyway."

And with that Lee pulled her hard against him, kissing her fiercely, relentlessly. And then Kara just let herself go, dropped her defenses and was lost once again.


	4. Chapter 4

Kara scrubbed her body in the shower. She couldn't go back to her daughter covered in sweat and smelling like this. She finally exited the shower to see Lee watching her. She quickly dodged his arms when he made a grab for her and headed back to the bunkroom.

"Kara." He called after her.

It was a mistake, she'd just got frustrated and caught up in old emotions, a mistake, she repeated to herself. She reached the bunkroom to find Racetrack watching a sleeping Kacey in her bunk.

"Starbuck, I can talk to you about what to do next time if you like, you freaked her out more by running." Racetrack said as she climbed into her bunk, "Just get quieter so she can't hear you unless she quiets down."

Kara climbed in next to Kacey, and closed the curtain. Her sleepy child looked like a little angel, she shouldn't have left.

"I promise I'll take better care of you Kacey," she whispered in her child's ear, "We'll get better at this mom-and-daughter thing."

Kacey snored in response.

Kara lay awake, thinking.

When Kara woke up Kacey, they ate quickly and then she went for the first time to the newly established crèche. A bunch of Galactica moms had set it up, with help from several of the civvies on board. It worked on a shift basis; every mom seemed to take a shift helping watch all the kids, every mom but her. They hadn't even asked Kara if she'd take a shift.

"Kacey, today you get to go to the crèche with other kids and babies."

"Why?"

"Because Grandpa is busy."

"Why?"

"Grandpa is in charge of the Galactica."

"Oh. Go play?"

"Sure." Kara kissed Kacey on the head and watched her toddle over to a few toys laid out on the floor. She looked over, and saw a few older kids; at least Kacey would have playmates.

She went to the hangar bay. She was flying CAP with Lee and Hotdog. She saw Lee's eyes look at her. She refused to return the gesture.

'Starbuck, you'll take my wing…"

She let herself zone out the rest of the briefing, Kacey, Lee, Leoban, Sam it was a whirlwind in her mind.

She loved Lee, she admitted privately to herself, but he was married and she-she was still married too. Although she was sure that Sam was already taking steps to remedy that state. Could Lee accept her broken as she was? She doubted that, the truth would slip out and Lee would worry incessantly between frakking her and fighting with her, a child couldn't live with two parents like that. Together her and Lee were too unstable.

Besides she was going to prove that she could be a good mother, she would learn, read the frakking books if she had too. And she'd do it on her own.


	5. Chapter 5

Kara had become better at mothering. People had noticed the changes in her behaviour, spending more time with Kacey, singing to her and telling her stories. Even permitting Kacey to sit on her lap and 'help' her play triad. The old man had even suggested she have more of them, jokingly of course. She'd even managed to acquire private quarters for Kacey and herself. Things we okay, at least for now, Kara smiled as she dropped her daughter off to spend some time with her Grandpa Bill. She still had to religiously avoid being alone with Lee. Kara had realized that spending time alone with Lee usually led to frakking. Especially as his physical condition improved rapidly. Dee glared at her in the corridors; no one else seemed to notice. She wondered how many people knew what they were up to. Frak or fight seemed to be the extent of the relationship they were capable of. She usually tried to brush off her relationship with Lee; it made her feel like crying. She did enjoy watching him with Kacey, what had started as an attempt to irritate her seemed to have formed itself into genuine affection for the child. She still loved him, she admitted privately to herself. Not like it mattered. She'd frakked that up before it really even started. It seemed she was just a side dish for him. And things were getting more difficult.

Kara walked into sickbay, not really wanting to believe what she did, but she needed the results from her blood test yesterday.

"It's positive." Cottle told her, "You know, the publicity about raising the birth rate wasn't speaking to pilots."

Kara grimaced, "So am I off rotation?"

"Not yet, soon though." Cottle said, "Do you want to test for gender?"

"Okay." Kara said faintly, wondering how Kacey would react to getting a sibling, "Do you think Kacey…"

"Children will adjust to new siblings, it will take time but she will adjust, and she'll love the baby. And the baby will love her back and in time they'll drive each other crazy." Cottle spoke plainly, as if he had reassured many people of the same.

"Did you have children?" Kara asked on impulse.

"That's none of your business." Cottle snapped, "Get out of here."

Kara left for the pilots briefing feeling scared. What now… She pushed her fear out of her mind. How many people would guess right? Would Dee punish Lee somehow? Would Lee hate her? Did he now? The lover who'd gotten knocked up? Would he have to know? Would he even guess? He probably thought she was frakking a few random men on the side. Kara decided. She could do this. On her own, as always. She managed with Kacey and she'd manage with this baby too. She wondered briefly if Lee would be more irritated if she told him child wasn't his.

Kara walked towards the briefing room, until she was dragged unsuspecting backwards through a hatch. Not again, she thought to herself. She heard it lock before she saw his face.

"Kara."

"Go away Lee." Kara placed her arms on Lee's chest and pushed him away half-heartedly.

"No." Before Kara had time to put her thoughts together Lee's mouth was on hers.

"Lee, you are married." Kara pushed him away more firmly, thinking of Kacey and the baby, "I have a daughter. She deserves a better mother than one who lets the CAG frak her whenever he wants." At this point Kara noticed that she was in Lee's quarters.

Lee didn't let go of Kara, he held on, "So what happens to us?"

"There is no us, remember?" Kara taunted him.

"Don't talk." Lee pressed Kara into the wall, and kissed her again,

Kara's body betrayed her as she responded fully to Lee's kisses, wrapping her arms around him. She could deal with this. It wasn't like he could do any more damage, "Lee…"she moaned softly.

And so she let it happen, again. Telling herself as usual that this was the last time, she wouldn't let it happen again. For a few moments she was in Lee's arms and felt loved. She always wanted more, and then it was over. She was left lying on Lee's bed, the one he usually shared with Dee, drenched in sweat, wondering exactly where they'd gone wrong. How could she still feel this way? She had chosen wrong, chosen someone else. And everything still led right back to Lee. Even with her daughter, she wanted more. Family is what you make it, Kara reminded herself. She didn't need Lee.

Kara finally reached for her clothes, groping around with one arm, still lying on Lee's bed.

Lee rolled on top of her, "No, you're not leaving."

"Why not, you got what you wanted, I have to go." Kara struggled against him again.

Lee pulled her back, attempting to bridge their physical intimacy into a real one, "No, listen. I want you, I want to be with you, be a father to Kacey."

"No, I can do this on my own, don't patronize me." Kara pushed at Lee's shoulders.

"Of course you can do this alone. But you can also do this with me. I love you. I love Kacey; she's a sweet kid. Taught some of the others in daycare to say 'frak'."

"Don't remind me." Kara tried to twist her neck away. He still loved her. Had he heard of her pregnancy? Is that why? Kara changed tactics, "What about Dualla?"

"I'm divorced." Lee told her happily.

An emotion almost like joy filled Kara, "As of when?"

"Yesterday. Just tell me you still love me." Lee kissed her again, "Tell me you want me and I'm yours."

"I want you." Kara shivered, hoping Lee would shut up soon. _But not like this, she thought to herself…_

"Good, you and Kacey can move in today. We'll raise her together. Be a family, the three of us. We can surely manage one kid, right?"

Kara looked at him confused, "So you don't know? You really want me?"

"Know what?"

"I'm pregnant. Congratulations Major. Good job, you just got your best pilot off rotation for a while." Kara added out of spite reaching for her clothes again. Lee grabbed her hands and pulled them towards him firmly. Lee stared at her for a few moments; Kara forced herself to remain silent.

"I thought I'd have to beg." Lee finally said.

"For what?" Kara responded confused.

"For us to give Kacey siblings, I doubted you'd be open to the possibility."

"You wanted to have a baby with me?" Kara asked in disbelief and suspicion. Kara then realized what Lee had said, "Siblings?"

"Yes. Plural." Lee kissed her again, "And we're getting married. I'm calling the shots from now on. You've been in control for far too long."

"What do you call sneaking up on me to frak?"

"Good timing?" Lee suggested, "Either way, you're stuck with me."

"Yes."

"Yes we'll get married? Yes we'll have children together?"

"All of it." Kara closed her eyes, what was she saying?

"Good." Lee leaned down and kissed her again.

And then suddenly it didn't matter, "I love you too Lee. Now what?"

"Now, I confess already having packed my stuff."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"I really do have to go, there's a pilot briefing."

"I cancelled it."

"As of when?"

"Now."

Maybe it wasn't a bright shiny future, but it would do…Kara thought, she had Lee, and Kacey and this baby. And they were going to make the best of it. No regrets.

Epilogue:

Some time later… 

Kara walked back to her quarters from the pilot's head, Kacey running along beside her.

"Mommy, Grandpa said I can, Please?"

Kara shook her head, they grew up so fast; according to Fleet records Kacey would be four years old in less than a few months. "What did Daddy say?"

"Didn't ask him yet."

"I don't think Daddy would mind a flower painted on his helmet, if you let Mommy help you paint it on." Kara said smiling, imagining the look Lee's face would have after he realized his helmet had been 'improved' by their daughter.

Kacey giggled and ran ahead, dodging the people in the busy corridors.

When Kara caught up Kacey was waiting outside the door, she opened the hatch to reveal Lee had cleaned up their quarters and was now sitting on the bed folding laundry.

"Hi Daddy." Kacey clambered onto the bed next to him, and began to 'help' him fold the laundry.

Kara leaned down and picked up her son, who had pulled himself up to his feet by holding onto a chair, "Hey. Did you have a good nap?" Kara balanced her son on her hip, as she began to rummage around for some paint to use later. Kacey was now jumping around the room energetically, shouting Gods-know-what. It wasn't perfect, but it was real. It was family.

FIN


End file.
